That Sucked

Have you ever written a letter to a Judge hoping that it will have some sort of an affect on a friend's sentencing?  It ain't easy.  In fact it sucks.  There are so many things I wish I could say, things that I want to believe would make all the difference in the world, but the reality is the Judge may not even look at one letter.  It is so frustrating because I love this friend and his family and wish that it could be as easy as one letter.  I would not leave my computer and would type a letter detailing every way this man has influenced me and how it has helped me navigate the stormy waters of life.

I would explain how one of the very first lessons I learned from this friend is that you should be honest even when it can hurt yourself.  He told a story of a man he worked for, this man was a chemist who apparently garnered the attention of a particular branch of the government who wear black suits and investigate things.  These government types called and talked with my friend.  Shortly afterwords my friend received a call from the chemist who said that the suits would be calling.  He said they would say horrible things about him and that they would ask questions.  The chemist recommended that my friend not talk with them then invited my friend for a drink.

My friend became nervous and asked the advice of his mentors.  He asked if they thought he should lie if the chemist asked if he had talked to any suits.  His mentors recommended that he be honest.  This chemist had made hints and threats that he could mix chemicals in such a way that they could be mailed and the recipient would die from opening the letter.  But my friends mentors still suggested he be honest.

He met the chemist for a drink not knowing the outcome but expecting to be asked if he had spoken to the suits.  My friend was prepared to be honest even though the outcome may harm him but the question never came up.

The situation my friend is facing a Judge for is very similar in the sense that he was honest despite the harm he and his family now face.  At least now the harm that they face is no longer a physical harm.  Unfortunately the harm they face will affect them for the rest of their lives.

My friend and his family's situation is that of a tragedy.  It is easy to sit back and come up with a simple to solution to the problem he faced a little over a year ago, yet it is an entirely different situation to actually be in his shoes then.  There are failures and were failures in the systems that were designed to protect people.  As a result of that my friend was faced with a choice that I would not wish on anyone.

There are those of us who have faced that choice, those of us who know we may face that choice and those of us who have never considered that choice.  Those of us who know we may face that choice can understand a little bit.  We will never fully understand the gravity of that choice until we are faced with it.  I imagine that once you are in a situation which requires you to decide whether you want to continue or not, you really have no option and the last thing on your mind is that you may face a Judge for wanting to continue.

On one hand I want to cry for my friend's situation, but I think those tears would be fruitless.  My friend understood the rules.  He was aware of the risks.  He chose to participate in this arena.  I know that he will soldier on because that is what a warrior does.  Pull out the arrow so you can live to fight another day.

If there is anyone that I should grieve for it is his family.  I only hope that they are able to move forward and recover from this heartache.  My friend was protecting them in the best way he knew how.

I wish that I could have fit that into a letter to a Judge and I wish it would make it all go a way.  It is not going to go away though, so I have choice to make.  To go on and do my job better than ever, to not be dissuaded by the choices of others and to honor my friend by doing what is right.

Friend, you know who you are and if you by chance get to read this, I'm praying for you and your family, hang in there and soldier on.

Daniel

Preventative Maintenance

Sorry for the long lapse in blogs.  I've been thinking about writing for a long time, just did not get around to it until now.

First of all, you'll notice there are no numbers in the title.  My once a week blogging project spiraled into oblivion and will not make a return.  I am still going to make an effort to blog consistently because I do enjoy it and it is therapeutic in a way.  Ok, on to the meat and potatoes.

This year we have let go of two cars.  In turn we purchased two cars, but in doing research and trying to decide on which cars to get, I began to really understand the importance of preventative maintenance.  The interesting thing about preventative maintenance is that it applies to nearly all aspects of our lives.  Mechanical preventative maintenance can actually relieve stress, I don't know about you, but I have driven many miles in cars that I was not sure if they were going to make it and it is stressful!

The more I thought about mechanical preventative maintenance the more I realized how similar it is to all the other types of preventative maintenance, emotional, physical, spiritual, relational and so on.  I thought about how it is really hard to spend $200 on your car that seems to be running fine and how I used to think of all the other things I could spend the money on.  Physical preventative maintenance is the same, I could spend a couple hours working out, which is hard, or do nothing and wait until I have a physical problem to do something.

Recently I applied the preventative maintenance concept into my relationship with my wife.  After having a kid and being married for 6 years, being romantic takes a herculean  effort!  We decided on a night to have a date and I secretly began planning a few things.  It was difficult and took a real effort to plan the evening, order the flowers, clean the house and have enough energy to enjoy the date.  All that effort paid off though and I noticed a difference in our relationship.  The date was what we needed.

Now I am trying to be vigilant and stay on top of preventative maintenance, it is worth the effort for the peace of mind.

-dg